M

I woke up from dreaming
I returned a call from a friend of mine, she sounded really lonely
But I had somewhere to be
I said I'll call you later
'Cause I really need to go, I can't be late, she'll be okay, this is important
Then I forgot completely


You can be who you choose to be
But whether you do, or whether you don't
Depends on your priority
And I know that it's not easy


I'm looking for the peace to find some sleep tonight
'Cause I'm
Not very proud of the way I have lived today
But if I choose to
Follow myself along the way
Then maybe I won't look back
Feel like time is gonna pass me by
Then maybe I won't look back


On those days I could of said something
In those times when help was needed I was busy
I was within the words to see the moment is good
In some way I could have been something
I thought I was done with a simple smile, but I was selfish
But if I change my heart today, tomorrow it may be okay
And maybe I won't look back

I woke up from a nightmare
Where I was talking down this street, invisible and no one else could see me
All my chances were gone
I was nothing and meaningless to live
I've had many things to say, but never tried, afraid you wouldn't listen
Should of done it all differently

*

As I rest against this cold hard wall, will you pass me by?
Will you criticize me as I sit and cry?
I had fought so hard and thought that all my battles had been won
Only to find the war had just begun

Is she not strong enough?
Is she not pure enough?
To break me, pour me out and start again?
Is she not brave enough?
To take one chance with me
Please can I have one chance to start again


Will my weakness fall and and now make me suffer for a lifetime?
Is there any way to be made whole again
If I be renewed and find forgiveness by the strength I've never had
Will my scars forever ruin all her plans?


She took my life into her hands
And turned it all around
In my most desperate circumstance, is where I'm finally found


That You are strong enough
That You are pure enough
To break me, pour me out and start again
That You are brave enough
To take one chance on me,
Oh thank You for my chance to start again

*OMG! Lyrics from Stacie Orrico’s songs, they touched me completely, since I’ve been feeling so stressed out, irritated, and intense craving for reaching what I want. I get my hopes up and I wonder for the best…I should have known, I was more than I could have been. I knew it all along. But who was there blocking my way and deteriorate the pieces I’ve assembled and gathered? Grieving all over, for what and what for? Array all the saddness won’t help reach and retain who I am…and allay myself simply won’t help as well. I’m stuck in this entire ruble. I’m frozen in all these paradox. Wanna close this chapter, close this book, close the whold melancholy.

I should have known better…

You can be who you choose to be
But whether you do, or whether you don't
Depends on your priority