M

　I cannot describe the gratitude I own Federic Chopin.

    *又來了，無力感，以及強烈的否定，太多，又太快，承受過，沉思過，猶疑過，終究歷史重演……我能改寫嗎，這次？

　　*I’m gonna save me from myself. Is it possible? Or is it just a dream? Hurt and denial, I’m not satisfied with who I am, especially under all those things.

　　*白板上，拿起立可白一滴滴塗鴉，關於夢想與愛恨，間斷式地傷害自己，苛責自己，與保護自己。我不需要真誠的謊言，但我討厭看到你落淚，坐在教室的第十排，茫然望著桌上厚重的原文書，沉重，沉默，眼淚們在你的眼瞼來回滑動，落不下，抓了包包，

　　*你誤入美麗的隱喻，再也無法思念，與想像，回首徒然，向前，是繁花落盡，向後，是混沌未開。個人史冊中，擁有難以數計，一群蠢蠢欲動的，澎湃與不安；我拿起草繩，打緊實，闔上薄薄的紙本，學習社會化的過程，習慣與麻痺，社會化。

　　*你曾，誤闖秋末冬初雨落的季節嗎？隱居山頭太久，幻覺過後的興奮，已不可考，幻聽下的情愫，已難追矣。你遺留，整座山的疑問，與哀愁。

　　*既然沒辦法抽離，遮起眼睛，戴上眼罩，轉個幾圈，回到真實如夢的世界。

　　*雨下了又停，停了又下，杵立落地窗前，呢喃：「春天後母面…」

*I didn’t want to act like this: mad and seemingly disappointed of just being myself. Last time during our conversation, we were in serious mood for relationship between humans, and I missed out on certain points. There were times I find it hard to be severely truthful to you and myself. However, I was not a liar. I was never a liar. Hence, the issue was really difficult to bring: personality of being bewilder and simple. It was just the way I was: two extreme forces within my body. I thought I always had them in my life to pull me through afflicts and surmounts. According to my therapist, she said it was actually a protection I craved for life. People once said that the I was born to be special like this.

Peel out the flesh upon me, so I could live longer and breathe for more. Coexistence, I was browned with this word.

　　　*琴房不小，在裡面，就是能夠與最喜愛的作曲家，一起聊天、分享，擁有最大的真心誠意，那天在裡面的對話，著實讓我訝異了，我不知道，原來在你們眼中，我是那樣的一個人，我彈得曲子，又是……一點一滴的情感隨著曲子的多次練習流逝，究竟在公開場合彈出來的，是真實的還是修正過後的我？

　　*Veronica又讓我落淚，如果深諳事實，何必去描述對於音樂的狂熱及掙扎？我厭惡現實中，不夠現實卻時常在意現實的自己，太多了，一堆的負面情緒，時好時壞的水平表，難以維持的平靜，比想像中離的遙遠……I cannot describe the gratitude I own Federic Chopin, who poured me out and let me start again in desperate circumstances. All those nights, alone in dark, while seeking for truth, he’s the only one who talked to me, soothed and told me that, he understood. He touched the deepest side, and for those who had never been around Chopin for in close proximity, please don’t criticize him. He is immortal. He is not like the norm. He is not average. He brings the soul out of the cellar.

*schedule

Last week

月曜日：卡ｋ大賽～Stacie Orrico’s Stuck

　　　　古典鋼琴社課～海頓的奏鳴曲

熱舞社～小羊舞蹈（我還沒學起來啊＠＠）小白新的三個八

火曜日：有機～第四章終於讀完了＝　＝

生物～41.42、實驗跑考內容

水曜日：約會～跟可愛的Brunilli

授證典禮一檢

系排～教練有來

木曜日：熱音～EG社課，教學是超強的小眼睛

熱舞～小羊教了新的三個八，前面我還沒學完ＱＱ

金曜日：藝舞顧問-asie他好厲害，且非常搞笑，本人也是型男一枚！

　　　　瘋狂看電視天，看了大約八個小時，笑到凌晨四點

土曜日：報告

日曜日：報告

 This week

月曜日：尺度無限大

　　　　爵士組練習

火曜日：有機考試～糟糕糟糕很爛很爆

約會～跟可愛的Brunilli

水曜日：把初夜獻給生統ＱＱ

木曜日：熱舞～跳爵士跳快四個小時

金曜日：輔具概論～很爛很爆

尺度舞限大

土曜日：團練

日曜日：爵士組