M

   She used to love the darkness, how it brought 
Closer the presence of flesh, the white arms and breast
Of a stranger in a railway carriage a dim glow—
Or the time when the bus drew up at a woodland corner 


     I was totally sick of myself. I’d already seen a huge war coming, but I didn’t try to avoid it. It screamed the truth out of me. “Sorry I’m not your perfect little girl. I’m just this girl who tries to murder the person inside the mirror.” And it kept going on and on when I was in shower. I stared at myself, unable to make any suggestion. I knew the reasons. I knew I was not good enough. I HAD NEVER BEEN GOOD. I knew that, I knew that when I was in second grade.  

  Not beautiful. No talent. Not smart enough. Not optimistic. Not responsible.

  I’m not good at too many things…I don’t even know how many (LOL)

  Then I was stuck again. I’d been like this for ages. It has been helping me and hurting at the same time during my teen hood. Because all these criticism, or I call them facts, will someday abstain me from fully relish the moments of doing what I love. I would just be in the condition of “Ahhhhhh! I’m suck! F**kers!” However, if I start to have some respect for myself, I might be able to stay focus on what I should do and what I want to do and just do them ALL!  

  Right. Sounded easy; thoroughly a tackle problem, since I’d been like this at least for 8 years. 8 years! How was I supposed to improve in the few years to come?

  Then I found out those fabulous Japanese entrepreneurs. They were gorgeous, outstanding and each perfect in their usually way. I just cannot help but observe their lives. So intriguing and interesting of the way they talk to themselves.  

   All right, I’ve got to stop now. For English. Dude, a loooooong way to go!

EXTRA*

  I danced a few songs tonight.(A mix dancing style help to relax) It was like about 3 hours ago and I felt awesome about everything. My parents were in the living room chatting and I pushed the play button and had some moves with my bare foot. I even taught Mom had to make waves. Therefore, ouch, both of my big toes hurt. I now walked in a really strange way. The following were some of the music imperative for dancing. No time for explanation. Just enjoy!(LOL)

Whine up mix just dance

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcs7Dv2vT90

Cry me a river

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKTwx-oOpco

Jenny From the block

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRFmAYh3aRc

Get right

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rFsfb-GXfo